Recently reading through 1 Corinthians I was stuck by Paul's position on marriage. Paul's view is that marriage is a concession for those who are too week to be celibate. That celibacy is the best way (like himself) to live. He does admits that marriage is not a sin and says his celibacy is a gift from God, but also refers to marriage as a better choice than burning with desire (I wonder if a pun was intended). Although he manages to keep some kind of a middle ground he is clearly championing celibacy.
This really struck me for a few reasons. First, as a happily married christian man married to a wonderful christian woman it is hard to see Paul's side of things. (And maybe he just didn't know how good it could be - totally me again...) Second, I have never been in any church advocating a celibate life over a married one. (With maybe the exception of the Catholic Church - Admittedly here priests and nuns are celebrated, not as much as families are and not without stigmas, but at least recognized!) In fact, some churches celebrate marriage and family to the point where even I (a married man) have felt awkward for not having children. Third and finally, it just feels counter-intuitive to go forth and multiply and some other scriptures but feeling is different than being.
After getting over myself I was able to look deeper to ask and answer why this is Paul's view. It is important to note that Paul believes Jesus is returning soon. Very soon, like possibly before the end of his own lifetime. With that in mind we can begin to see how concerned Paul was about distractions. To Paul (and I think if we are honest we can agree that sometimes) marriage is a distraction. Being concerned about your husband, wife, or even your kids can draw your attention away from God.
Furthermore, some of the Corinthians before being saved had many issues with sexual immorality. And some struggling with it after the establishment of the Corinthian Church. 1st Corinthians directly addresses one man living with his stepmother and alludes to others with a laissez faire attitude towards sex. Paul reveals his view about marriage as a continuation of his discussion on sexual immorality. It seems that he wants them to understand how wrong sexual immorality is! Paramount to this he is driving home that sex is only acceptable within the context of marriage.
At the same time this also highlights the serious nature of marriage. To those of us who are married we have experienced marriage as a blessing and gift from God. To those who have experienced difficulties or even divorce you have felt the true gravity of the situation and the distraction that can occur. Even those of us who are very happy should be able to recognize times when we were thinking about our significant others before thinking about God. Tough pill to swallow but marriage may have led some of us to idolatry.
We need to be doing more than celebrating marriage. The Church needs to recognize how serious marriage is! We talk seriously, but are we actively living it? Are we counseling couples to the extent we need to be, or are we making a lot of assumptions leaving them to figure it out on their own? We need to better prepare each other for marriage! We need to be constantly thinking about how this union can glorify God! We need to think about how Marriage can strengthen our walks! My guess is more of us don't know how to than do know. Even if we can admit it to ourselves can we even admit it to our spouse? Are we so proud we can't ask of things so personal?
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